the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
