pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
