i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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