It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you win again, gameday.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
