This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
