Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
