I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
