I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize