im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
