The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
