You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
