I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
