Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Come on in and take your pants off
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