oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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