he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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