whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
