i already hear my dad disowning me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
