i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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