that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
