his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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