If that was your dad, he is hot
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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