I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize