Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
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Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?