wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize