I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
