They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
