this boner is exhausting
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
