pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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