wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
