Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
