508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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