You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
