I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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