So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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