She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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