I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
