Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
