I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh god it's open bar.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
