Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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