apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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