White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
