I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
handjob tips. give me some.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
