my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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