what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
