Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
