i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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