The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
