i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
