hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
