ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If I die, sorry about rent.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
