k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
