If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize