It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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