I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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