Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
