Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Help. Why am I so naked?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
