is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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