ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
