He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
